I'm affected by the sound ?

"i look back on us and how we called each other best friends,
funny cause in our situation the label was there but no promise attached to it's end.
our friendship was built up on a thousand lies, each of us with a good disguise.
i remember putting so much trust in you just to have you prove me wrong,
so many times you had me in tears, making up apologies cause i had no idea what i did wrong.
but i guess i should say thank you for showing me i deserve better,
and for the record i hope you know after this final goodbye you wont be receiving another three page apology letter."

humiliated.

sitting in the lab, doing absolutely nothing, last day of school, christmas..
should be good.

-----------------------------------------

weird

Okay, so I was really stoned, and when I'm stoned I get really really paranoid, so I thinking about cops, and how they would figure out if your drunk.
You know how they make you walk that line when you get out of the car ?
Okay well I was thinking, cause everyone! thinks that when they are under the influence, "im okay, I can still act sober" well obviously cops know that, so this line I was thinking was desgined to test that, like they put the line at a longer length, cause you cant keep in control for that long, anyways now that I'm writing it out, it sounds really stupid, but it was one of my thought. aha
okay.

the ability to love you, is my strongest strenght

You've got to understand that it took courage to make myself come to the realization that everything that I've ever wanted and is found within you. For me to put everything aside again, everything that you once broke, is a remarkable task that took a lot of strength and faith. They say sometimes people put walls up, not because they want to block people out, but because they want to see who cares enough to knock them down. You know me like no one else does because I never was able to let anyone in, and you don't even know how glad and thankful I am that I gave you the chance. You stayed at our best, yet you stuck at it at our worse, and proved to me what truth in love still has. The sky is the limit and true love is forever.

----

You've shown me everything Mike, and I can't thank you enough, no one knows for sure whats going to happen in the long run, and when we do, or if we make it, I will not be surprised, I will never regret anything, ever to do with you. I love you.

----

She's almost sixteen years old. She's not perfect;never has been, probably never will be. She's emotional and she doesn't think about things before she says them. She'll say some things that will make you want to strangle her. She'll probably hurt you and make more mistakes than you can imagine. She doesn't mean to, but she probably will. However, she'll apologize. She's still learning about everything, even if she thinks she already knows it. She's been hurt; sometimes she feels so alone she can't stand it. Other times she's so happy she can't belive it. She's just trying to figure out this twisted time in her life when everything gets real complicated real fast and everything seems to spin out of control before she ever begins to understand what's going on. But she loves, laughs, and does her best and that's all you can ever ask of her.

----

something to read.

Maybe that`s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. &+ maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.

-
i was born to be stubborn, to be alittle bit bitchy, to push people, andpush myself. i was taught to nevertake life for granted, to live a little,to love with everything I had tonever give up, to believe in myselfbut most of all, to fight for myself.

-
Yeah but even when you're here, you're gone. I miss the old you, and I know lately I haven't been the easiest person to be around, but can we just rewind, restart, relove



( When I read quotes like these, it makes me really think, that maybe love is the same for everyone. Good luck to whoever is inlove with someone, cause its absolutely great when you start out and it feels like nothing can faze you, but heres a little advice- he or she can faze you, i promise, good luck, keep the one you love close to you, cause it hurts to watch them grow apart from you)

It's been a while.

I have the craziest thoughts when I smoke weed, it's been so long since ive wrote anything on my blog, im going to start up again, schools in now ! Crazy I know, aha, so far im failing history and civics, but i can boost those marks up really quick hopefully. I never got to write about that one bestfriend, and Im going to. I just need to think about stuff

---

Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just braces yourself and bit your lip. Sometimes you just have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

---

So, yes just incase anyone, is wondering, I am still dating the boy in the earlier posts, and he is beautiful, 10 months now. Doesnt seem like a long time to me, but it feels like i've been with him forever.

We have alot of issues still, but relationships aren't perfect and they never will be.

I love him. Thats all I pretty much care about.

---

I have this friend, lets call her B. She is.... well its really hard to describe B, you see all her life people would put her down, and no one would pay attention to her, she thinks that no one really cares about her sometimes, and I wish I could tell her shes so full of it. She's beautiful , and she cant see that. Me and B met a while ago, and we became bestfriends instantly. litterally. I never left her house, i never went anywhere without her, and today we arent close anymore, and I still feel like shes that bestfriend, who I'll never lose and I will always have. Its weird to describe it. We're friends when were apart but bestfriends when were together, its hard to explain it.

Ill try later.

---

I want to start a crazy blog, all about a stoner ( me ) and theire crazy thoughts, lol trust me I have so many crazy thoughts when Im high, and Im sure everyone would love to read them. They're CRAZY. aaha

jk, It'd be really cool if people acctually read my blog, those are the cool blogs.

hey,asshole

LEARN HOW TO CALL ME WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL.
fuck, lol you frustrate me so bad.


---
on another note its thursday!!
two more dayss baby and you'll be here.

----

I have this really close bestfriend, that I'm going to talk about in the next blog tommorow, cause I want to do it now, but im too high tonight, and its a confusing story, so you know what I mean, thanks, talk to you guys later :) bye.


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"aint nothin' in this world for free, just be happy we don't have to pay to pee"

with or without you

Hey guys!
Soo, I think Im going to start posting really cool graphics and photography.. why? cause I'm really into that kind of start, I might even start, before today is over, cause once again I'm stuck with nothing to do, so might as well right.

-----

I always wonder what your doing when I'm not with you, or you're not with me. I hope you think about me, as much as I can't stop thinking about you. I love you so much.. I just wanted to say it today, even though I know you'll never see this. Sometimes I think you will find someone when you're not with me, and think that she is better than me, and that you should be with her. I hope not. I love you very much, and I never want to lose you.
This whole two weeks without you, has been horrible, and we're supposed to be on a break?
like , ha , this is not good.. ;)
I miss you very badly, and can't wait to sleep next to you.
Bye beautiful.

-----
OK for the graphics and crazy shit, see next posts, I still will post shit like this though, I'm sure no one really enjoys reading it though.

kindling, for the moment.

You left me, for others. You didn't want to be friends anymore, that was clear.. I miss you alot, I miss my bestfriend, I don't miss the girl you've become against me though, due to others people drama and gossip. I'm not worried to much about, I know you miss me too, but do you miss me the right way ? Do you miss that when we slept together I slept better to the shape of your body ? It's so much of me and him against the world now, I had you, and than I lost you.
I'm sorry it happened that way, but I have to be with people that I dont have to worry is talking about me behind my back as soon as the bell rings.

-----

I can't blieve how well I slept, because of talking to you, I loved it, I love you.

I miss you.

I miss you so bad my whole being shakes.

I love you beautiful, you are my world.

PS.NOTE

Spot the difference on facebook is the shit.
:) you should try it.

new week, okay.

Today we talked on the phone. I was shaking, I was so happy to hear your voice after so long. I know you miss me, I know you wish I was home. I can't wait to share stories- face-to-face. I miss you so bad, I picture you with me. I picture when we'll see eachother again. I feel so much better. I love you, and I know we won't let shit others say bother us. You scare me still.
I love you with my whole life,body and soul ..baby. I miss you, and I'll be seeing you soon.
I promise.

-----
here's the thing. You all started this shit. This is all your fault.
" I'm not taking bullshit" anymore.

-----
ammune system is shot, gotta stop smoking everyday.
cigarettes are bad enough.
I kind of like the feeling.. flying.
whatever. I'll stop when I want to right?

we're losing this, and I can't live with that

We keep seeming to having the same problem. I'm scared, and I know you're scared. My names baby, and you are mine. Why can't everything just work out like that, You know I love you, I know you love me. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I hope you tell me , because I'm sick of being stuck up here thinking that when I see you again, everything will feel the same, see I don't doubt that, and I know you do. If you want to be with someone else,

tell me.
cause I want to know.
I love you with all my heart.
You are my true love, and you always will me.


----

I can't take it anymore, I honestly feel like we're just stuck in this one position that neither of us want to make an effort to get out. You we're my bestfriend, you we're his bestfriend too. It's hard you have no idea, you dont have everyday the whole world against you, that is my life now. I have to deal with everyone that is against me and the things I love. I dont know how to fix it, and truthfully, I'm better off without those kind of friends. you, and only you, I regret losing, you were good to me, I treated you horribly, now this is where we stand.

first blog.
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bad week, I'm not okay.